' A man must live like a great brilliant flame and live as brightly as he can. In the end he burns out. But this far better than a little flame' - Boris Yeltson
For the longest time, I let other's opinion govern my emotions, actions and how much effort I put into my passion. Always, I have felt the call to inspire and empower others either through writing, speaking or actions to be the best they could be regardless of life's challenges and it wasn't always that simple. Maybe it was my hypersensitive emotions, kicking in but many times, videos or long captions on my social platforms were either received with 'ohh she has come again' or i was simply told that long captions did not belong to these platforms . No one cared enough for emotion filled speeches or writings because there was not enough time or it was considered 'playing the victim' .
It probably hurt most from those I cared about that I hoped will be my biggest cheerleaders as I valued and respected their thoughts and opinions. I tried so hard to resist the urge to speak up and speak out in every form for fear of what people thought. Writing for me became over criticism of what I felt led to say and 'saying my thoughts' became a game of selecting what was most suitable for THEM as long as i stayed within the lines that had been set because no one really 'enjoyed' people that did not fit the status quo. Damn, I had been asked to stop more times than I could count. Believe it or not, when you cant seem to shake off the feeling of being incomplete and remain restless and disappointed not doing what makes your spirit feel alive; and what makes you feel like you are on a path to reaching the world in an unexplainable way, then you realize that its beyond even your own power talk less of others to totally resist the call. That my dear is your spark struggling to become an all encompassing flame of change. Fan it, let it out and stop resisting.
It is believed and dare I say true that in all of us lies a fire call it whatever you deem fit; be it purpose, passion, destiny, a calling or an eternal role for one's existence on earth. But this fire is one that is lingering inside us and always leads us to the right path even when we stray. It is that thing that keeps us going even when it seems almost impossible to go on, that gives hope and makes us feel like we can take on the world. It is one of the few 'things' hat survive all the self doubt, uncertainties and reluctance we face as it screams out to us even in our silent spaces and wouldn't quiet down till we let it out. As only then do we find peace and a light that cannot be dimmed or contained as it is brighter than we can ever imagine. However, the road to lighting your fire isn't promised to be all sunshine but in the end it will all be worth it.
Here's to YOU who keeps on 'leaving it' for another day because of doubts, fears and uncertainties; who has been told its impossible or it doesn't just fit or blend in, light your fire! Do that which you have always felt led to do, speak up even if it might not be the loudest voice, defy what's 'normal', go for that that your mind's eye that you are meant to be, follow your heart even when common sense screams 'irrational behavior'. Someone else somewhere needs your fire to give them the strength to light theirs because your story might be just the motivation they need to let them know that they can do it too. Don't deny someone the chance to live bravely and purposefully by constantly suppressing the spark yelling to be fanned into a flame. Others might not understand, even you might not understand but keep going and hold on.
"The littlest encouragements from people you have little to nothing in common with, to thankfulness for sharing your voice because it was needed at the time, proved that change could happen even a thousand miles apart and all that mattered was you and all the wonderful lives you will have a planted a seed in".
I share my story not to evoke pity or sympathy but for it to be a sign and an inspiration for someone who has many times been undermined and doubted, who feels like they have no support sometimes, or who doesn't feel like their work is good enough for them to fight for it and defend it with all they have got. It took me almost a year of continually being afraid to let go and go for what i wanted, to no longer worry so much about what people had to say about what i did or said. It just gets to the point that peace and contentment with one's self, the universe and the creator, becomes all you need to know that you are doing something right. Hopefully, yours doesn't take as long but regardless always live life at your own pace. The turning point was accepting that I didn't have to get to everyone as even one person reached was enough at a time and one more spark you had ignited. The littlest encouragements from people you have little to nothing in common with to thankfulness for sharing your voice as it was needed at the time proves that change could happen even a thousand miles apart and all that mattered then was you and all the wonderful lives you will have planted a seed in. It also reinforced that all our voices though unique are intertwined as we need to each raise our voice for the collective voices to be heard as we were all a 'sign' and 'hope' for each other.
As I move to end here, so you wont probably doze off reading this *if you do, know that I am watching you (inserts eyeball emoji)* . This may not make the most sense, but I hope somehow this speaks to you . If no one ever tells you, remember you have one cheerleader in this corner and I am rooting for you and waiting to hear your joyful story in addition with many amazing people you might never even have met. I hope that you let you fire burn brightly not to scorch but to soothe by giving light. I pray that this might be your first step to letting your self open up and bloom wherever you are at this time because you are someone's miracle and motivation. May the rest of your week be full of much joy, peace and blessings and don't forget to constantly fill yourselves up with love, care and happiness so you might fill others up.
Love and blessings,
Mirabel ^.^
Photo credits: Ayobami Adedeji
Instagram: @ayobami__adedeji
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